A letter to a family member . . . 

Dear -- , I have been wanting to write to you for some time, just to talk a little bit about my feelings about Susie, and her passing, and her memorial service. I think it might have been hard for you to understand why I did not come to St. Louis for the service, and I am hoping that I can explain, at least partially, what my feelings were and are. I treasure our friendship, and I deeply treasure my connection to our family. It would make me sad to think that you might doubt my love for, and devotion to, our family. As you know from some of our previous conversations, I have a deep love for the spirituality of life, and when I heard of Susie's passing, I spent the better part of two days in a kind of quiet meditation. I spent a lot of that time just listening - listening to the voice of my heart, listening to my higher power (which I think of as Spirit, or Love) - and listening to our sister Susie. I'll bet you feel, like I do, that she is still with us. Yes, her physical presence is gone, but everything else about her - all the truly beautiful things – are still here. I can see her clearly in my mind, I can hear her voice, I can see vividly things that happened in the past, even way back to our childhood, and I can definitely feel her solid system of values. So, I listened for Susie's voice, and, as I think I said in an earlier email to you and the sibs, she clearly said to me that I should stay with my family for our planned vacation. It was a precious time for me, just hearing her talking to me, and then replying to her in our spiritual conversation. I know many people would chuckle at all of this, as if it's religious nonsense, but I know you won't. I know you will totally understand. I think Susie is happy that Delycia and I, and Delycia's son Aaron, and Annie and our grandson Louie, had a wonderful week in a little cottage on a lake in the Berkshire Hills, at the same time that most of our family was gathering for her memorial celebration. In a very real way, I celebrated Susie's life on that little lake in the mountains, and I think she knows that. In the future, when a member of our family passes, I hope I will be able to join the family for the celebration. I look forward to being able to do that. However, I have to be realistic and say that circumstances might arise that would simply make it impossible, or just not the best choice. I hope you and my brothers and sisters and nephews and nieces will understand.  I love you very much, sister Barbara, and I hope we can share words soon, either by email or by phone. All is well with the Salsichs in New England. There is love up here like the love in St. Louis.  With gratitude, always, Ham